Your Cheatin' Heart

Well, not your heart exactly. A former student, whom I vaguely remember only by name, felt the need to insert himself into a discussion of vote fraud and, in the process, stumbled (jumped would require thought and intentionality) to the conclusion that because, unlike him, I hadn’t worked myself into a dither over the issue, I must have been okay with students cheating while I was in the classroom. 

He suggested that I should have made that known and my classes would have been more popular. I never had trouble filling my classes, although I admit that I also never invested a lot of time and energy in trying to nab cheaters. I had other priorities. But I do have some stories.

First, the reason I didn’t spend much time or energy worrying about cheating dates back to my own high school days. I didn’t have to cheat, but I had a friend who sat behind me who needed, shall we say, help. Now, I know that technically I was cheating, as well, but, well, just let the story tell itself.

It’s American history and we’re in the back corner, me in front of him. I’m getting ready to move from page 1 to page 2 of a test when I hear a whisper: “Wait, don’t turn the page yet.” A couple minutes later, “Okay, I’m ready.” I don’t really remember how many pages the test was, but I paused at least another time or two. Again, yes, cheating by both us. A couple days later the tests come back. I had a score in the mid-90s, his was low 70s and he directly copied my test! I came to the conclusion at that point (I was not even close to realizing I’d end up with my own classroom) that for the most part cheaters are so bad at it that it’s not worth worrying about.

So, when I found myself with my own classroom, kids cheating was neither a large nor loud blip on my radar. Not that I was Captain Oblivious, I mostly just didn’t care, unless it was so obvious and, frankly, stupid, that I had to act.

Anecdote 1

1975-76: If you were to ask me about the worst class I ever had I would hesitate not even a second in picking the focus of this story. I gave weekly vocabulary quizzes in English, because I thought, and still think, words are important and having a better vocabulary than a 5^th grader matters. This class may not have worked hard, if at all (oh, so many stories), but their behavior was awful and I wasn’t very good at managing them. So when one of the worst came to class a bit late and insisted on taking the weekly quiz even though I told him I’d excuse him…. And when he, like many, if not most, of the class got the first 11 questions correct (and then missed the rest), it was clear that I had been careless with the answer key. Their average score of 13 was a big jump over their normal performance. The next week I made sure I gave them time to copy all the answers before entering and starting the quiz. Of course it was a fake key, but their 2-week average came to about 5 or 6 out of 20, so order was restored.

Anecdote 2

Late 80s(?), teaching World history. I was an early adopter of the computer and had a test generator program that made it easy to create multiple variations of a test. Usually two was sufficient to thwart the “efforts” of people like my friend from high school. Of course, I didn’t exactly advertise that there were multiple versions. I usually let the kids watch as I graded the test. One student (Maurice Moultrie, if memory serves) was a good student who did well. A friend of his who shall remain nameless although I do remember him, watching his performance, got very excited. “Oh, do mine next Mr. Berndt. I really studied for this one.” Suspicious, because while he was a charming scoundrel, academic rigor was never one of his strengths. Apparently the kids all knew because they struggled mightily (and not very successfully) to not laugh as his face fell in synch with the rising tide of red marks. “You know, K, there were two versions of this test, don’t you?” “Aww, man.” He was really a good sport and rather than get angry, he joined in the laughter at his expense. Like I say, a charming scoundrel.

So other than a few precautions, I wasn’t really worried about cheating. You don’t need a degree in statistics to realize that, in the big picture, a few stolen points, even on every test, don’t really change anything. Kind of like extra-credit. Kids would beg for extra-credit, never realizing, apparently, that even 40 EC points didn’t really move the needle if there were over 1000 points available during the grading period. Plus, I didn’t enjoy getting mad at kids or trying to trap them in bad behavior. But some teachers did. Which brings us to 

Anecdote 3

I’m thinking this is maybe mid-late 70s. The health/PE teacher, who, honestly, didn’t really like teaching or kids that much, sent a student to my room to take a make-up test. I don’t remember her name, but I do remember, about 5 minutes into the test, her asking, “Mr. Berndt, how long does ossification* last?” “3 months or 3000 miles, whichever comes first,” was the first thing that popped in my head (probably due for an oil change). Ignoring a couple giggles from the class and my arched eyebrow, she dutifully recorded the answer. She apparently decided that worked so well she’d continue to trick me into helping her with her test. I don’t remember any more answers, although the ossification one was the least ridiculous in the progression; if she actually knew any answers, she decided mine would be better. She did ask, once, “Do you really know this stuff?” I assured her that I had taught health and was married to a nurse. On she wrote and eventually off she went to turn in her test. It didn’t take long before an overheated PE teacher steamed into my room, certain that I had disrespected both her course and her. She calmed down (some) when I explained the whole sequence of events. Never content to take the win (all wrong answers) she departed to vent her anger on the student for trying, and failing miserably, to cheat. Whomever you were, if this sounds familiar, I’m sorry. 

Final anecdote, I promise (unless another story pops into my brain while I’m recounting this one).

Spring of 1985, College Credit Composition. This one did bother me because I was especially fond of this group. It came to my attention, from multiple sources, that a cabal had been conspiring to cheat on the weekly vocabulary tests. I was both hurt and disappointed. On the day I decided to confront the class, there was, not coincidentally, an important paper due so I had a stack of compositions on my desk as I expressed, in forceful and perhaps mildly profane language, my feelings of betrayal. I then told them that if their grades were so damn important that they needed to cheat, then they could all just take their damn A’s and I wouldn’t bother any more. I then picked up the entire stack of comps and dropped them in the trash can (which I had emptied), saying any papers that remained when I returned would get an automatic A, but if anyone really wanted to learn something, they could retrieve their work and replace it on the desk. As the grand finalé of a staging that I think possibly eclipsed my portrayal of Felix in The Odd Couple (perhaps not a high bar), I stormed from the room to the teachers lounge where my department colleagues waited to hear the replay. I’ve been told that there were some tears, and at the end of the period, all the papers were waiting for me. And that was that (at least as far as I know). Lesson learned, I think, that process means more than results.

So cheating mattered to me, just not enough to divert energy from the bigger picture of what I was trying to accomplish. And here’s the thing. Cheaters get caught, one way or another, eventually. The price to be paid may not be immediate, it may not be obvious, but the soul will be witnessed, in that I have faith.

*ossification – the hardening of the top of the skull in a newborn. Also, getting stuck, becoming stagnant or rigid in your thinking – while important, I’m pretty sure that was NOT the context.

Program Building: The JEG

Just a short piece, at least in part because on the political front I don’t know where to start, and, some would say, don’t know when to stop, either. So those thoughts will continue to percolate until they spew messily all over the counter. Not sure anyone is looking forward to that mess.

A former, now friend, who shall remain nameless but knows who she is, wrote to thank me and let me know that she had received kudos (and some $$) from her bosses, based in part on her written communication skills. The credit is hers, of course, because she took instruction that was available to everyone and developed skills that continue to serve her well.

But where those skills were honed was in the JEG room. JEG was born in my second attempt as a journalism adviser (my first was short-lived and less than memorable because I had no clue as to what I was even supposed to do). When Curt Kenner left Hancock (and, for a while, teaching, until finishing his career in journalism at Lindbergh) after the 1977-78 school year, the high school needed a new yearbook adviser. In true Hancock fashion, I was selected because I had the best camera, a Nikon, and knew, more or less, how to use it. I never was journalism certified, but worked (very hard) at learning the skills needed to teach it and train young journalists.

With the help of Rich Wall (and the gang at Schiller's Photo – an uncompensated and unsolicited plug) and some enthusiastic young photographers, together we learned how to set up and run a darkroom and some of the toys we inherited from Curtis (like a huge process camera). The next year, trying to tap into the Foxfire (cultural journalism) trend, we resurrected the school newspaper and, eventually, a literary magazine.

I believed that to build a program that would be a source of pride for its members, we needed to create an identity and tradition, just like any team, organization, or club. Thus was born the Journalism Education Group (JEG). We were successful enough that the acronym stuck for a long while. (In fact, I think it survives to this day.) We muraled the wall outside of our door with paintings of front pages and yearbook covers. My alt. kids also decorated the darkroom with the names of their favorite music groups, some of which I not only remember but have on my playlist: Ramones, Blondie, Sparks, Gruppo Sportivo, Devo, Roxy Music, The Tubes, etc. Music drove a lot of work printing pix in the dark and breathing the chemicals.

Anyway, we grew and developed not only an identity, but a certain amount of power. As you might guess, that was not always well received. But I contend to this day that Hancock’s first state championship was actually in 1985 when we were awarded All-Missouri status in a state sponsored competition for the school newspaper, one of only two St. Louis schools to be so recognized (the other was Kirkwood, a perennial all-state journalism program). 

There were a couple unfortunate by-products of that success: the school principal did not speak to me for a year and a half; I got tired of the conflict and quit the post after that year. Our HQ in Room 102 was then broken up like Germany after World War II, and moved to another, more easily observable, location in the building. I had some great young journalists in the pipeline and still feel bad about abandoning them, but the situation had become untenable and I needed to step away from the fight.

I returned, under a different principal, to the position in 1990-91 and stayed for another six years, and while the second batch of student journalists was more mainstream and less alternative, they were equally successful and proved that location is just one challenge, not an obstacle.

The point of this, however, is that I believe a strong journalism program is the best college (and life) prep available on the high school level. Think about the skills: writing under pressure with deadlines and for public consumption; editing one’s own writing as well as those of others; finding multiple ways to say the same thing in fewer or different words; researching supporting ideas with evidence and detail; talking with people, making cold calls, developing and living within a budget; working as a team, playing well with others, committing to excellence.

Unlike many people, the students in JEG understood that being critical was NOT being disloyal. They felt a part of something important, something that had a tradition, something that was bigger than any individual, something that could make the school they loved better. I could go on and on, and, seeing as how I don’t have anyone to edit me, probably would, except I said this would be short. (You didn’t really believe that, though, did you?)

I’m proud of many things about my Hancock career, but the bright trajectory of the JEG (which, after several stops and starts, is once again in capable hands) I consider one of my top achievements, and, if you look at the alums of that group (both the 80s and 90s versions), you’ll find a significant (and diverse) number of successful Hancock graduates in a variety of fields. I’m proud of each and every one of them.